Carelessness At its Best

I am an undergrad at the prestigious college 'Shri Ram College Of Commerce'.Its supposedly the best commerce college in India.So, one gets the impression that if you have been able to go beyond those gates, you are something in your life. I used to think or rather tell myself exactly that for the first few days of my college.Though my stand on the capability of the students here has still firm , but now i seriously doubt the       to what good the degree offered here actually is and to what level of advantage it might offer me in the competitive world outside.
By the means of this article  i don't mean to criticize my college but do exactly the opposite.Its actually the best college in terms of exposure and learning experience. I assure you, you will not be able to see such kind of a fun-filled college life anywhere else, at least not Delhi University.So, basically there is balance of everything.
For me as a student, SRCC has been a life changer.It can do something to you that no other college can,which is,'Help you stand out and know yourself more', condition being you are bold enough to try out things.In the first couple of months, my agenda was to make a really good social circle within the college, for i had not been able to do so in the last school that i had attended(I have attended total of 8 schools during my life,:p).Though in the midst of increasing your social quotient, you miss out on actually making 'good friends', which i sincerely regret.

NOw ThAt ThE LoVe Is GonE

Wandering through the college with a heavy heart, i felt a tinkle of stress and desperation crop up on my mind as i tried to figure out to what exactly happened to me out there in the class sitting beside her.It's not that i am one of those who feels really under confident to go about having a conversation with a girl, and certainly not when that person happens to be my good friend. But clearly i had some emotional issues.
It was just another day at college,the only difference being that with the ongoing whether conditions, my patience dries out faster than it should.I find it hard to register a single word that my sweet teachers blurt out of their mouths assuming that we would actually be intently listening to whatever they have to hammer upon our heads.My interest is usually diverted somewhere or the other.I keep looking at random things and start using my imagination to give them a good story to behold their existence.But today, my concentration was clearly and totally upon her. Though i pretended to be too engrossed to be disturbed by what so ever my Economics Teacher was writing on the board, i couldn't help but glance at her through the corner of my eye.My imagination wasn't at its best, but my curiosity certainly was.
Right from the starting of the class, i noticed that she seemed to acting normally with everyone except me.She is generally very social and starts of a conversation with nearly everyone around her, which actually helps in relaxing the environment within the class.Today, though i noticed that in spite of sitting right beside her,i just seemed invisible to her.Now we have had this happening on numerous occasions before as well.But it usually happens for a single day and stops on the other. I somehow never bother to inquire to what is wrong,but today i felt this deep desire to ask her that. Through the course of the class, the only moment she may have stretched up herself towards me was only to borrow the eraser.She spoke to nearly everyone in the class during the class, chatting up about the syllabus, but not a single time did she say anything to me.Now these awkward  moments killed me inside.I wanted to just hold her arms, have her look me in the eye and tell me to what had happened. But then , just that moment, i somehow could not gather as i was battling myself to was it just ,overreacting to the situation or had o actually done something to cause distress.How can i tell her, that i care for her just too much and its high time she should stop pushing me away from herself.

So i let those moments pass by, thinking that may be as we walk out of that class, she will resume behaving the way she usually does.But as the class got over, she got up really fast and left,